Saturday, April 07, 2007

Twelve Years and Counting



Today SRH and I have been together 12 years. We celebrate it as an “anniversary”, primarily because I like to go out to dinner, but also because it seems – in some ways – almost as important as the day we were married.

Twelve years ago this evening as I made my way to my 819th collegiate party, I had the following thought, What am I doing here? I have a really nice, cute, smart guy who likes me, and I’m not allowing it to happen. What am I - a freak?

Ah, sweet self-talk. Thank you for making sure that I didn’t blow a chance with a really wonderful guy.

But enough with the niceties – here’s what happened.

I had recently gotten out of a craptastic relationship and had decided that I wasn’t going to date anyone for at least a year. You make bad dating decisions, I told myself. You never even want to be in a relationship, and then you date these needy guys who make you feel bad for not wanting to be with them. So, you hang out with them – against your better judgment; and then two years later, you finally figure out a way to break up. Much drama ensues.

So I decided that I just wanted to be on my own for a while. I had been in a relationship for almost five years straight, I was 20 years old, and I just wanted to be by myself.

I wanted to kiss a bunch of boys and flirt outrageously – and go home alone. I wanted to casually date more than one person at a time (something my fiercely loyal self had never done) and plan a future without a significant other. I wanted to keep company with a virtual Benetton ad of hunks, spend outrageous amounts of time with my girlfriends, and not look back.

Enter SRH. He has always foiled my best laid plans.

Twelve years ago, I went to a party and decided to do something that was good for me even though the timing wasn’t perfect.

Two days later, I knew it would be serious.

Two months later, he mentioned marriage.

Two years later, we promised to be together for the rest of our lives in front of 150 people.

(We also promised to “love your body as it ages” – and thank heavens for that particular vow! We could both be in a whole heap of trouble if we hadn’t included that one. I’m just saying. Marriage and child rearing aren’t quick tickets to a hot body - no matter what the deli guy thinks.)

Anyway, best decision of my life, happy anniversary SRH, blah, blah, blah…

9 comments:

Karen said...

happy anniversary!!!
i love you guys together. one thing i've always thought was how evident it is that you love each other. :)

zulhai said...

Congratulations! You are so lucky to be able to live with someone you look forward to seeing every day.
P.S. My mind is officially blown!

Thea said...

That's awesome! Congrats!

Sue said...

Congratulation! 12 years - how awesome!!! Hubby and I have reached 10 years together this year.

lsig said...

We're coming up on 14 years together this June, and 16 that we've known each other. Half of my life. HALF OF MY LIFE.

*ahem*

Congrats! ;)

Zany Mama said...

karen-
We do love each other - and that darn third wheel Keith Richards is cramping our style.

zulhai-
Most days I feel pretty lucky. Then I look around me and realize that not one bit of trash has been thrown away by anyone other than me.

thea-
Thanks!

Sue-
Congratulations right back at you!

lsig-
Your freak out is completely understandable. I tend to have similar reactions when I realize that most of my closest friends have never known me un-married.

So weird.

L. Noelle said...

Fantastic, huge, congratulations to you! A Huge Accomplishment and you obviously love eachother, a whole heck of a lot~!

allrileyedup said...

Those Benetton hunks would be a lot better looking if they were doing that nose thing like Samantha in Bewitched.

Anonymous said...

You guys are too cute. I hope one day that I find someone that completes me like SRH and you complete each other. Like you had, I have had a longer history of finding losers, I even took a 3 year break from relationships and still managed to find myself a loser. Someday, I'll find my knight. Someone that want to be stuffed with baked goods and enjoys hanging out at the homestead. Until then, I'll see where life leads me.

Tree Monkey