Could We Please Talk About Something Else?

So where’s the “funny” in my life right now?

Good question. I’ve been pondering this lately, and it’s why I haven’t been blogging much. Because whining doesn’t suit me (not to mention the fact that it’s off-putting), and I am not a “naked” blogger – one who shares every feeling that comes to mind, no matter how morose or self-pitying.

But I’m struggling to come up with an “angle” or interesting way to discuss a childcare crisis, gallbladder pain and impending surgery, and the fact that I left my $80 yoga mat in the rental car I used last week.

I tried the limerick route. Then it was onto the list of what crazy (and mean) things my hungry self is willing to do. Then, I dressed Zane up for a pep squad – because when feeling bad, it’s always best to torture small children. But now I’m fresh out of ideas.

So I guess I’ll just lay it out.

1. Childcare. SRH and I have been cobbling together care for the past two weeks while Zane’s care providers have been ill. They’ll get better – but not better enough. They’re getting older, and their health is poor. It’s a really sad reality, but it’s time to move on.

Solution A: Find new childcare.

So this one seems self-explanatory – call area care providers, do interviews, and pick one. EXCEPT most childcare centers in our neighborhood don’t provide part-time care, and any in-home provider we use can’t have cats, dogs, or carpet. Either option must be comfortable caring for a child with multiple food allergies and severe asthma. Like way-severe asthma. Like massive amounts of medication asthma. And I must be comfortable that they can do it.

Surprisingly, I’m not getting very far on that front.

Solution B: Quit my job and provide my own g.d. childcare.

So, this one is looking better and better except for one fact: I’ve lived in poverty, and I don’t much care for it.

We’ll leave that one on the table for now.

Solution C: Continue to cobble together care.

This has worked for two weeks; perhaps I should carry on for a while. Of course, it’s downright ugly in our house right now – I’m flexing my work schedule, SRH is flexing his work schedule, I’m at the computer working during every spare moment, and I’m constantly feeling guilty for not doing enough at work or home. On the other hand, it keeps me from breaking Grandma D and Grandpa R’s heart by telling them that we’re moving on. There’s some benefit there. (I am such a wuss).

2. Gallbladder. I can’t get into the surgeon until Feb. 12^th. So I’m on an extremely low-fat diet until then. SRH reports that this makes me both tired and grumpy, but I’m quite sure that I’m only tired and grumpy because I’m the only one doing anything around here! (I’m also quite sure that the preceding is a completely accurate statement and is not at all influenced by a lack of fuel to the brain).

Solution A: Continue to eat a bunch of nothing for the next month. Oh sure it makes me grumpy, but I’m slowly figuring out how to walk that tightrope between eating enough to live and avoiding severe pain.

As a bonus, I see that old pencil skirt from Banana Republic rotating back into the wardrobe.

Solution B: Go balls to the wall – eat a scrumptious dinner and chase it with a trip to the ER. However the question lingers in my mind: Will they really be willing to take it out that night or will I have to be in burning agony for 2-3 days before the offensive gland is taken from me?

I’m still not sure which way to jump on this one. Right now, I’m going the safer, hungrier route.

3. Yoga Mat. For the second time in a year, I have managed to lose my too expensive yoga mat. (For details of the first time, see here).

Solution A: Harass and harangue the folks who fixed my hail-damaged car last week (those folks who so generously loaned me a 15-year-old rental car) until they get my yoga mat back.

Or I suppose I could ask nicely, but people who are famished tend more toward making demands rather than reasonable requests in sotto voce.

Solution B: Go to the yoga studio, and take someone else’s mat. Hey, it’s not my style, but someone clearly did it with my first mat. I’m simply suggesting that I use a proven strategy for obtaining a yoga mat at low-cost.