No I Won't Back Down

On Thursday night, we were giving Zane a rescue breathing treatment in the middle of the night when there was a “clunk” from the nebulizer (the machine which administers the breathing treatment). Then the motor of the nebulizer seemed to grind a bit for the rest of the treatment.

No problem, I told SRH. I’ll call tomorrow and get a new one. It was about time for this one to wear out. The last one stuck around for about a year, and this has made it a bit beyond that. I’ll make sure to call the place tomorrow and get a new one. I bet that they are ruing the day that they gave the RH family a nebulizer – we always have to get it replaced before the warranty runs out. We’re a losing proposition for that company.

Do you hear the blitheness in my tone? The confidence in my voice? The supreme indifference with which I agreed to take care of things?

Famous last words.

Of course, had it been just so easy, I wouldn’t be writing this particular post. So come with me on the “getting a new nebulizer” journey that I embarked on Friday.

We start our journey here:

Step 1: I called the number on the cover of the nebulizer – which happens to be a national number. After entering my zip code numerous times and talking to two different people, I get referred to the local supplier number.

Step 2: I called the local supplier and have an argument with the operator who insists that the problem is the filter of the nebulizer. I insist that this is not so, since we had the same problem with Zane’s last nebulizer, and we were told that it was not possible for it to be the filter. After arguing for a few moments, the woman-whose-salary-must-be-determined-by-the-number-of-
nebulizers-she-keeps-in-the-warehouse agrees to “look it over” if I will bring it in.

(I puzzle over this for a few minutes feeling frustrated and powerless as I’m sure that I’ll take it all the way across town, they will replace the filter and send me home with a non-working nebulizer. None of which would be a huge big deal except that it’s Friday afternoon, and Zane CANNOT be without a nebulizer for an entire weekend.)

Step 3: I determine to get a new nebulizer. A ha and Eureka! I figure out that the last one was paid for by our previous insurance company, so I haven’t used the “nebulizer benefit” with the new company. Therefore, I can get an entirely new nebulizer without hassle from the insurance company or having to fight with the last stingy nebulizer supplier.

Step 4: I call Zane’s pediatrician to get a prescription for the new nebulizer.

Well, crud. The doctor’s office is closed because they are moving. Yep, the one time they move the office in 15 years, and it’s the day we need a new nebulizer.

Step 5: I am not beaten. Zane has another doctor – one of the hidden benefits of having a child with multiple health issues is the relationship with a variety of doctors. So I call the allergist’s office and get them to write a new script. The nurse offers to send it in the mail, but I tell her that I’ll come and pick it up since we need a new one by the end of the day.

Step 6: I call our local mom and pop pharmacy to make sure that they are covered by our insurance. The very helpful pharmacist says that they are indeed covered. So great, I ask her to make sure that they have nebulizers in stock. But wait, while drugs are covered by my insurance, durable medical goods at that particular pharmacy are not.

So now I have to find a pharmacy which sells durable medical goods AND is covered by our insurance.

Step 7: Call the insurance company to find said pharmacy. After explaining my need to two different people, I am told to call another line for the information.

Step 8: Call the other number –which happens to be an automated line. So while I can find out which pharmacies are covered, it can’t tell me which ones have durable medical goods.

Step 9: Call my insurance company back. I re-explain the exact information that I need. They are very apologetic about sending me to the wrong number – and promptly send me to a website for information.

Step 10: Get the list of durable medical good pharmacies – there are only eight in the entire city – and find the one closest to us.

Step 11: Call the durable medical goods pharmacy to make sure they have nebulizers in stock and check their turnaround time. (I am determined to have that nebulizer by 5pm. A weekend without a nebulizer, when we are doing at least two rescue treatments in addition to his two regular treatments a day, is not inconvenient, it’s dangerous.)

The pharmacist assures me that they have nebulizers, pediatric nebulizer cups and masks, and that they can fill the prescription immediately upon receiving it.

Well, fuck yeah.

Step 12: Get Zane up from his nap so that we can get to the allergist’s and then to the pharmacy before the close of business.

Step 13: Drive across town to the allergist to pick up the script.

(Zane gets distracted by the video of Cars playing at the doctor’s office and refuses to leave).

Step 14: Promise Zane that we can rent Cars tonight and have a family movie night if he will only leave the doctor’s office already.

Step 15: Drive back across town to pick up the nebulizer at the durable medical goods pharmacy.

From this day forth, there are two types of pharmacies in my head: those rare, gem-like pharmacies where one gets nebulizers, walkers, and elevated toilet seats and those that merely supply the life-saving medications that we use daily.

Step 16: Oh, blessed relief. Get the nebulizer from the pharmacy.

We end our journey here:

It only took 4+ hours to get this all done. Just in time to give Zane another breathing treatment.

Sometimes Zane’s health concerns give rise to acute crisis situations that must be dealt with swiftly and decisively. Other times, a mama just needs a goodly supply of perseverance and determination – and hardheadedness to get it done.

In summation, sixteen simple steps and 1/6 of a day will get you a new nebulizer – but only if you really want one.