Thursday, February 01, 2007

I'm a Yoga Teacher


You didn’t know that, did you?

Well, I suppose some of you knew that, but to those who only know me from this blog, this might be a bit of news.

Funny, you say, you don’t seem like a yoga teacher. You’re… well… a bit neurotic frankly and you NEVER talk about deep cleansing breaths or anything. And honestly, it seems like you’d be a little more centered if you were a real yoga teacher.

It’s true. That’s how you guys talk to me in my head.

But back to the topic at hand – I am a yoga teacher. I teach using the Ashtanga vinyasa system of yoga which synchronizes the breath and postures for a moving meditation.

Or more accurately, I was a yoga teacher teaching 1-2 classes a week– until I was fired last year by the craziest yogi in the universe.

And lest you think that I am being a bit unfair in my characterization of Crazy Yogi (hereafter referred to as CY), I should tell you that I went through yoga teacher training with 17 other people – and CY has fired 16 of the 17 so far.

CY fired me for having to get an emergency sub two times in 2 ½ years – even though I paid her $100 for the privilege each time I had to do it. She fired Mary for teaching the wrong sequence of postures one day. She fired Jay for teaching a class at another studio. She fired Cris for gaining weight.

I’m not kidding. These are all true, though names have been changed to protect the yogis who were broken upon her wrath.

Indeed, I was one of the last yogis standing, but eventually CY had to let me go.

And as you might guess for an awkward overachiever like myself, the firing was a blow. No matter that my fellow yoginis congratulated me on my liberation or that SRH heaved a gargantuan sigh of relief when he heard the news – I was appalled. I have never been fired in my life. It’s a lingering shame, really.

Well, perhaps that’s a bit of an overstatement. It’s a lingering slight embarrassment.

So, I was a bit taken aback today after yoga class when the owner of my new yoga studio (I never went back to CY’s studio) asked me if I’d be willing to do some substitute teaching.

No pressure, she said. Just think about it. There’s no hurry.

And while I’m totally not used to a supportive yoga boss and therefore had no idea how to respond, I am thinking about it. I figure I might be a whole lot poorer in a short amount of time if I decide to quit my job, and while substitute yoga teaching won’t pay the mortgage, at least I’ll get free yoga.

8 comments:

L. Noelle said...

I love it! As a Huge Yoga Fan, and Somewhat consistent Practicer (word?) of Yoga, I love funny Yoga Stories! Honestly, We all know a Lot of CRAZY Yoga Instructer, that's what makes Yoga so Fun! Many a classes I've chuckled to myself as I've listened to the Yoga teacher share Life Lessons after I've watched him get out of his beat up car that he lived in. LOL

zingerzapper said...

Oooooh, things are falling into place so you can jump into the flow. See, everything happens for a reason.

Oh, and I'm telling MOTHER!

Anonymous said...

Do it!! This is no apparent downside to this, that be seen from here.
Especially if you are going to leave the race to us rats, you will so need some adult interaction!
Furthermore, as a professional counselor, maybe you could start free-lancing? You could do it through the yoga studio, or the health food store, and call it something else, like "Guided Imagery," or "Tarot Reading," and charge $60-$75 hour. Why not?
Atmikha

jw said...

Great news!!! Jump on that opportunity! They don't come along that often. Besides, it's probably best NOT to be in the vicinity of someone who's energy conflicts with and disrupts your own...
Y'know, I didn't know you were an instructor.
If you can refer the lovely wife to any classes (that aren't too expensive), we'd appreciate it. She was attending at Victory fitness, but did not like the instructor, and because the sprout is here, she cant go to the Elizabeth Blackwell center anymore.
Thanx.
Oh yeah, Good Luck!

Sue said...

How awful of that boss you had. And people like that never realize that it's them. Good luck with the possible part time yoga instruction. I've always heard such good things about Yoga.

lsig said...

Hey, I knew that! It sounds like a great opportunity to get back into it, too. I used to teach cardio kickbox and step classes. I think I'd drop dead if I even tried to take a step class these days. Ah, my misspent youth, how I miss you.

Kristi said...

Never been fired? You must be kidding. I used to get fired ALL THE TIME. And CY sounds like fun. I hope you start teaching again so you can blog about wacky yogis.

Zany Mama said...

noelle-
Yogis are, indeed, a funny breed.

zingerzapper-
Stop using my own words against me!

And go ahead and tell mother. She doesn't scare me anymore - well, not as much as she used to.

atmikha-
I love the way that you are completely encouraging my hustle, but I am very, very sure that I never want to be a therapist again. (never, ever, ever, ever)

You did remind me, however, of my desire to develop a specific yoga workshop for trauma survivors, though, so I should probably think about that some more.

Thanks for the encouragement!

jw-
Congratulations new papa! I hope you, partner, and Sprout are doing well. These first few weeks can be brutal, so hang in there!

I'd be happy to refer her to a few different yoga studios, maybe we should email?

sue-
Yoga is truly fabulous - for some people. Others (SRH for example) just don't feel it and thinks it's a little kooky. I happen to be one of those wacky folks who love it, provided my instructor isn't crazy.

lsig-
I forgot that you used to teach aerobics! One day we shall reminisce about more than dysfunctional families. We shall talk of the times of Hot Bodies.

Kristi-
Interestingly, of the two people that I thought might respond with "I get fired all the time" - you were one of them! (The other is one of my favorite people from college who is married to Hot Body Sig above.) :)

I would love to hear your stories sometime!