This Gallbladder Has Got to Go…

I mean, really, how low can this low-fat thing go?

And for those of you who are worried that I’m going to start limerick-ing again, I’m not. I don’t have the energy for it. I don’t, in fact, have the energy for much these days as I am barely eating enough to sustain human life – and I have always been a particularly big eater.

Add to that the fact that I am a woman who gets cranky when she’s hungry, and you quickly realize that it’s not been a fun week.

Fortunately when I saw the doctor today, he agreed that it’s probably time to remove the offending organ.

Doctor: So…are you looking for ways to keep it [the gallbladder]?

Me: Heck no. You don’t even need a gallbladder, right? This one has acted up 3 times in the last 5 years. Let’s give it the heave-ho right now, shall we? You got a pen-knife?

And although he didn’t take me up on my offer to let him yank it right there in the office, I think he was pretty relieved that I didn’t fight him on the need for it to go.

(I go to one of those new-fangled integrative medicine practices, so he was probably concerned that I wanted to treat it with Reiki or some other decidedly non-surgical option.)

Doctor: Okay. We’ll get you set up an appointment with a surgeon. Do you need me to prescribe anything in the meantime for the pain?

Me: No, I don’t think so. The pain is pretty manageable right now as long as I don’t eat anything. That’s a good plan until surgery, right? I JUST WON’T EAT ANYTHING?!

At this point, we both agreed that I should probably calm down, and I said I would call him back if my “discomfort” escalated.

So adios, sweet gallbladder! You’ve clearly overstayed your welcome.