Friday, January 05, 2007

This Gallbladder Has Got to Go…

I mean, really, how low can this low-fat thing go?

And for those of you who are worried that I’m going to start limerick-ing again, I’m not. I don’t have the energy for it. I don’t, in fact, have the energy for much these days as I am barely eating enough to sustain human life – and I have always been a particularly big eater.

Add to that the fact that I am a woman who gets cranky when she’s hungry, and you quickly realize that it’s not been a fun week.

Fortunately when I saw the doctor today, he agreed that it’s probably time to remove the offending organ.

Doctor: So…are you looking for ways to keep it [the gallbladder]?

Me: Heck no. You don’t even need a gallbladder, right? This one has acted up 3 times in the last 5 years. Let’s give it the heave-ho right now, shall we? You got a pen-knife?

And although he didn’t take me up on my offer to let him yank it right there in the office, I think he was pretty relieved that I didn’t fight him on the need for it to go.

(I go to one of those new-fangled integrative medicine practices, so he was probably concerned that I wanted to treat it with Reiki or some other decidedly non-surgical option.)

Doctor: Okay. We’ll get you set up an appointment with a surgeon. Do you need me to prescribe anything in the meantime for the pain?

Me: No, I don’t think so. The pain is pretty manageable right now as long as I don’t eat anything. That’s a good plan until surgery, right? I JUST WON’T EAT ANYTHING?!

At this point, we both agreed that I should probably calm down, and I said I would call him back if my “discomfort” escalated.

So adios, sweet gallbladder! You’ve clearly overstayed your welcome.

6 comments:

S. said...

Sorry to hear that you're not feeling the best. Good luck on kicking the gallbladder to the curb!

nancy said...

Oh dear...hope that once it is gone, you will feel all better. Take care.

allrileyedup said...

Tsk tsk, if you had taken the prescription pain-killers, you probably could have gone right out to the street and exchanged those babies with someone who would have been more than happy to remove your gall bladder with a pen knife.

BG said...

Those pain pills would have been very nice for the woman who shows up on your doorstep. She would have appreciated those lovely meds...where is your holiday spirit?

I am glad to hear the GB is going...you have had enough food limitations in your life.

lsig said...

Bye-bye, gallbladder! Will you be all fixed up before March?

Zany Mama said...

s-
Thanks! From your mouth to the surgeon's ear.

nancy-
Thanks much. I think this particular organ is holding me down, man. It's time for it to go.

riley-
Brilliant! Brilliant!

bg-
You're so right - apparently the pain is making me selfish. I didn't even think of her in my list of folks to sell my meds to.

lsig-
God willing, I will be gall bladder-less by March.