Monday, October 16, 2006

I Really Do Like My Child

There are times I am just on a collision course with my child. Times when no matter what I do, Zane and I are destined to work each other’s last nerve. Those times usually come when we have just spent a long period of time together without a break, one of us is sick, and an outside stressor is present.

Well, check, check, and check. Zane and I just spent almost 12 days straight together with little interference from the outside world - i.e. we didn’t leave the house much. We were both sick for the majority of the time, and I got a phone call today from the folks who provide his childcare that Oops, they won’t return to town until Thursday, so we’ll have to find back up childcare tomorrow and Wednesday. Great.

Our current conflict – although Zane apparently has no idea that we’re engaged in a full-scale battle – involves talking. Zane’s incessant talking to be exact. His complete inability to be quiet for even one second of the day. His unwillingness to give his poor mother one moment of peace without asking questions or narrating every, single, thing happening around him.

Oh sure, I’m the same mama who has been concerned about her boy’s speech and who has (in the past) described him as a “late talker.” But preschool changed all that. Dramatically. Possibly irrevocably.

And I know that many, many parents are annoyed by the constant chatter of their 3 year olds, but – being me – I can’t let it rest at that. You know, the philosophy that it’s completely normal for a parent to want to gag their child after being cooped up with them in one space for almost two weeks with illnesses raging and ceaseless rambling by said child.

I don’t buy that. It must be something more. So I went exploring – what would explain this fundamental incompatibility between me and my child?

Astrological Signs
Zane is a Leo.
I am a Taurus. Apparently, this could be the cause of the unrest at our house. Completely taken out of context, here are two quotes that describe how our astrological signs may interact:

Relationships between Taurus girls and Leo boys rarely work out in the long run.

Leo can be very loud and melodramatic at times, which upsets Taurus who wants, above all else, peace and serenity at home.

So, there’s one explanation. Zane’s big mouth upsets my desire for harmony.

Doshic Types
According to this ancient Indian medicinal system, I am a Pitta-Vata.
All signs indicate that Zane is a Vata-Pitta. (If you want to know what you are, here’s a fun test and here’s a more tedious one).

Okay, my take on this is that we are too much alike and this causes conflict. Could be.

Chinese Zodiac
I was born in the year of the Tiger. Zane was born in the year of the Goat.
Interestingly enough, many sources say that this is an inadvisable pairing.

According to this source, Zane and I make a “poor combination”.
And according to this one, “It would be better for both if they spent more personal time away from each other.”

Wow.…I guess I’ve felt a little annoyed, but this feels like it’s overstating it a bit.

Western Self-Help Philosophy
I have mentioned before that I am a highly sensitive person.
In fact, when I take the Highly Sensitive Person Test, I manage to answer “yes” to a whopping 21 out of 26 questions. So I thought I’d take the children’s test on behalf of Zane to see if perhaps we were just two overly-sensitive souls who happen to have had a hard week and are (within normal limits) causing each other some moments of irritation.

No such luck. Zane was only a “yes” on 7 out of 23 questions – and that was stretching it a bit. So that theory doesn’t explain it.

An unclear conclusion…

So I’m not sure what this all means. It seems clear that there is no single explanation for the recent discord between Zane and me. Unless the explanation is that unceasing chatter by a little boy will drive any mama crazy after a while.

I’m sure it will be better tomorrow. After all, the preschool teachers will be his audience!

(Editors Note: I’m sure there is no need to say this, but this post is entirely facetious. I adore my son – and his rambling, incessant chatter. It is the delight of - most of - my days.)


lsig said...

Sweetie, I hate to keep beating this horse corpse, but- you are an introvert. You need your time alone. Constant exposure to anyone, especially someone chattering incessantly, is going to drive you nuts.

Myers-Briggs explains it all!

Anonymous said...

i feel for you. i can completely relate. i am married to someone that just won't quit talking. blah blah blah. ramble ramble ramble. i swear she just talks because she likes the sound of her own voice. I adore her but sometimes i just find myself screaming in my head -shut up! Sometimes i would just like to ride in a car with her and listen to the radio but NO, blah blah blah. Of course i am exaggerating a bit (not much though), but really she likes to talk.

And umm, i just stumbled on your blog and you don't know me or her, so there.

Anonymous said...

I just got back from a 3 day weekend vacation in Chicago with one of my oldest friends. We try and do trips once or twice a year to different destinations. But each time I get back I say to myself "Never Again", then 6 months later, I'm booking another trip with her. We have fun, BUT... We have the opposite problem, she doesn't talk much. I'm not a big talker either so it can make times where we should be conversing difficult. I'm happy to be home with my loud, sometimes way too talkitive boyfriend. The world is right again.

I hate to tell you but the chatter lasts for about 5 more years. but the best thing is that in about 10 he won't want to talk to you at all! It's that just great! LOL

Tree Monkey

Kristi said...

So do you do "room time?" Where they have to stay in their room and play/sleep/read/whatever quietly for at least an hour?

Highlight of my day.

Anonymous said...

Oh no, please tell me that wasn't my DH that posted above :(

I have a you know....never shuts up...yes she's adorable, her little voice is so endearing..blah blah blah...I can only hear "hey mama..." so many times in a day before I tell talking until the timer goes off or you lose your barbie. Yes, I'm horrible but hey, it is what it is.

Zany Mama said...

It's true, true, true. It's so true that someone who doesn't know me very well described me last week as a "classic Myers-Briggs introvert".

Apparently that particular tool is powerfully accurate.

Yes, those red headed extroverts can be quite trying. Umm...I mean...I'm sorry for your pain. It must be very hard for you.

The best compliment I ever gave SRH was that being with him was like being alone. No really, that's the key to our marriage. He leaves me the hell alone.

Tree Monkey-
I know, I know. Someday I will be begging Zane to give me detailed reports of all his days, but I'm having a little trouble imagining it right now. I'm sure I'll be whining on this blog in 10 years that he just won't talk to me anymore. I can't wait.

"Room time" is theoretically nap time at my house. Zane still takes a nap every afternoon, so I usually get a break. Last week, his congestion was getting in the way of his napping, I was sick, and Zane was especially chatty. It was the perfect storm of circumstances.

We're all just lucky the storm didn't result in any rash behavior on my part. (Well, any rasher than writing this particular post which I'm sure will show up in a later child custody case when SRH and I go through a messy divorce).

Truly, you have an amazingly verbal and enchanting child - and I'm sure she works your one last nerve several chatty times a day.

It is what it is.

Anonymous said...

You ain't heard nothing yet, big guy.

- Mrs. anon

belsum said...

I'm just glad to know that I'm not the only one that looks into compatability signs with my son!

Zany Mama said...

As I was writing this post, I thought, "I hope folks don't think I'm cracked because I'm talking compatibility signs with my son." Then I decided that most people probably already question my judgment, so I may as well go for it.

I just think that in this parenting game we need to use every tool at our disposal - zodiacal, alternative, or other.

Mom said...

I think the "Highly Sensitive Person" theory does explain your annoyance. You're a highly sensitive person. He's a loud, rambunctious child. Recipe for disaster!

Zany Mama said...

True dat.