Saturday, July 15, 2006

The Things We Do For Love

Hello friends, it’s me Cranky. That’s right – I got a case of the cranks today, and I’m not afraid to post about it. (Actually, I do feel a little bad subjecting you to the bad moodiness that is me right now, but since I promised myself I’d post today and being grouchy is what’s on my mind, there you have it. I will at least try to spare you the whininess. But really, I can’t promise even that).

To get a few things out of the way – I am not upset, despairing, or in a general state of depression. I’m just irritable - and most likely irritating - but there are no major things wrong in my life.

Zane is healthy. SRH and I both have jobs that are relatively stable. We have a roof over our heads, and none of our friends or family is in crisis right now – that we’re aware of.

In general, things are pretty good around here. So why the cranky?, you say.

Well, thanks for asking.

I think it’s because I really started the day out all wrong. My mom took Zane to the zoo (Ducks! Geese!), and SRH stayed in bed all morning as he didn’t feel well. So, I had about 20 minutes before my yoga class to spend time ALONE *sigh* and read a novel.

While reading, I had the thought, Oh my gosh. When does this ever happen? I’m alone. No child. No husband. Nobody wanting anything from me. I should just sit here for the next hour or so and read.

But then I thought, Come on Zany Mama. You only do yoga two days a week, and this is one of your days. You’re never going to get rid of that junk in your trunk if you don’t have a little discipline. And since you are very antisocial at yoga, it’s still really alone time. Get moving, lady.

And so I grabbed my yoga mat and stepped out the door to Crabby Town.

I will spare you an overly-detailed description of my day, but here are the highlights.

Today my yoga class focused on back bending. (Insert expletive
here, preferably the one that begins with “f”). Not so good for
someone with a back injury (see here). So now my back is killing
me. I have been taking ibuprofen and sitting on the heating pad
as much as possible today in a vain attempt to ease the pain. But
my main point is that it doesn’t bode well for the rest of the day
when you leave your morning yoga class hurting and pissed off.

Also, in case you were curious, spunky toddlers could really care less about how your back feels. Oh, I suppose they care in their little narcissistic pick-me-up-anyway-mama kind of way, but really, that isn’t very helpful.

Potty Training Day 1 was not a complete failure, but we certainly can’t call it a success. (More on this later. I’m sure it will all seem funny on another day).

Since SRH and I have neglected to go to the grocery store this week and I am determined not to spend all our money on eating out, I had plain pasta for dinner. Plain pasta with butter and salt on it. Crud. What am I – in college? Next, I’ll be eating ramen noodles as a snack.

After being gone for about a week, Zane’s face rash is back with a vengeance. The poor kid is looking rough - and I’m still no closer to figuring out what is causing the stupid thing. Lots of mama guilt there.

So as you see, these are not major problems, just really annoying mosquito-bite-like irritations. I’m sure I’ll be better tomorrow.

But in the meantime, I’m going to do what most people do when they’ve had a bad day: I’m going to take it out on my partner.

I am about to go to the video store. There, I’m going to rent a movie which has the line, “Great date movie!” somewhere on the packaging. I’m going to make SRH sit down with me and watch the entire movie while we cuddle. I’m going to make a huge batch of popcorn, because apparently, popcorn – as opposed to pasta – is good with just butter and salt on it. And while I will insist on snuggling throughout the movie, I do not plan to put out afterward.

Yep, that should just about do it.


Dustin said...

"I got a case of the cranks..."

This sounds like an STI or something you get when trying to quit heroine. Regardless, it has me laughing loud enough to make my co-workers give me the all-to-familiar "shut the ---- up" look.

SRH said...

I had a headache anyway...

Anonymous said...

There's nothing like a backache to ruin a perfectly good day. It would be so nice to stop the world when you are cranky. Like having a remote that you can push "STOP" on and have everything around you freeze. Within a month I will be giving up my one bedroom apartment where I live by myself to move in with my boyfriend of 9 months. Even though I'm excited to start this stage of my life, I know that there will be days that I would love to go back to living by myself. I think I'm gonna need one of those remotes, but instead of "Stop" I need a "Shut Up" button.

Tree Monkey

zingerzapper said...

I think the best part of the crankiness is when you know you should apologize but feel that would be the last straw. Hey, overall I tend to be pretty chipper and tolerant and lets face it, my "angry man" has had more grumpy days than me by a landslide. So if in my head I justify the knowledge of this crankiness imbalance without an apology then so be it!

Zany Mama said...

Dustin -
I feel fortunate that some sleep and sitting on a heating pad, (as well as antibiotics) will apparently cure the cranks. I'm feeling much better today.

Say whatever gets you through the day, my love.

Tree Monkey -
Good luck to you on the shacking up. It might seem quick to some folks, but SRH and I got engaged after only 10 months - and here we are 11 years later. Oh sure, we don't like each other much, but we're really committed...

Also, since I'm sure your mom has told you the one about the cow and getting the milk for free, I won't bother to do so. (But I couldn't help referencing it, because I think it's really funny in a sexist, insulting, demeaning kind of way).

I think it's a good thing you didn't pursue the whole "I want to be a therapist" part of the MSW program. Probably not the best fit.