Me and the Boys

I really do like men – even though for the vast majority of my “real” professional life, I have worked only with women. Oh sure, there was my first therapist job where I worked at a local family service agency. There the staff was about 50/50 male to female, but I lasted less than six months.

Then it was onto the work of my heart - working with survivors of sexual and domestic violence. Not a whole lot of men in that field. In fact, the one man I worked with I had to fire. He just wasn’t a good fit. And he was crazy.

But I digress.

Now I work at an organization at the university that has “women” in its title. Again, not many men in my neck of the woods.

(Professionally, that is. Of course, SRH and Zane are the two most important people in my world – and they’re both boys. But since I happen to be heterosexual, partnering with a man was really my only option. And SRH got to determine that Zane would be XY. My only point being that I didn’t actually choose in a conscious way to have these men in my life – I simply lucked out.)

So imagine my delight and surprise that my past eight days have been filled with men, men, men!

Hot Springs Interlude
I was at a conference last week in Boulder, where at least half of the 47 participants were male. (See, I do professionally interact with men. I do!) Anyway, this amazing conference was located at a beautiful rocky mountain resort, which happened to have four hot springs located lakeside.

So, I’m busy hot springing, enjoying a delightful conversation with one of the MALE conference attendees, when another of those beings with penises decides to join us.

Guy: Do you care if I join you?

Me and Other Guy: Yeah. Of course. Come on in.

Guy: I didn’t bring a swimsuit, so I hope you guys don’t mind.

Me: (what I thought) Ummm….okay. I don’t care if he wears boxers or a pair of shorts into the tub. I am totally cool with this. Look at me, being all down with the no-swimsuit thing.

Me and Other Guy: Whatever. Come on in! It’s wonderful in here.

At which point, Guy takes of all his clothes and jumps in. Yep. Every single bit of his clothes. Gone. Naked. No underwear, no sports shorts. Just his birthday suit.

What I thought as I edged myself to the farthest corner of the pool, I am so NOT down with this. What kind of wingnut gets naked with people he just met today? Nobody’s been drinking. Nobody’s using drugs. Who does this – skinny dipping at a professional conference?

I know I tend toward modesty, but really. I’m just not cool with this. I’m trying to be, but I'm failing miserably.

But I pulled it together, looked away as he climbed into the spring, and planned my escape.

Except that this particular scenario replayed itself three additional times before I was able to make a graceful exit.

Yep, that was me in the hot springs with seven men – four of whom were naked as the day they were born.

Fortunately, there was no weird predatory or sexual vibe.

A thought soon after, This will so go into my blog. Even if everyone thinks I’m Prudy McModest from Straight-Arrowsville, this story must be told.

Holiday Interlude
SRH’s two best friends were in town for the holiday, and it was great. We haven’t seen either of them for a while as they live in far flung places, and they are some of the easiest houseguests ever.

Still, my house was overflowing with testosterone.

Case in point, Friday night they went to a local pub and got quite pie-eyed. They slept in late Saturday morning, got up and went out for a noontime breakfast, followed by a trip to the theatre for the newest James Bond flick. They then came home and played killy-killy death games on the computer. It was crazy male-bonding.

I’m a little surprised they didn’t shoot a deer on the way home, but perhaps there are things they aren’t telling me.

Here are the things I discovered from the men this weekend:

• Males, when living without female company, will simply rinse their dishes in water and call them clean.
• Bathroom hygiene is questionable with two people who stand up to pee in the house – with four it’s unbearable.
• I am, apparently, Michu like. (I assume this is in reference to my height, not my proclivity for wearing striped suits).

Medical Interlude
Another day. Another man.

So the doctor says to me today, “I think it’s either bronchitis or a sinus infection. It really doesn’t matter. The antibiotic should take care of either one of those things. You’ve been sick for so long (10 days and counting), that I’m pretty sure it’s not a virus.”

How’s that for confidence-inspiring?

At least dude gave me some killer cough syrup. By killer I mean, it tastes terrible, but I’m pretty sure I won’t be feeling no pain in about 10 minutes.