Thursday, September 28, 2006

Ode to Yoga Pants

Well, it’s officially Fall here in central Ohio. I don’t mean “officially” in the way of we just passed the autumnal equinox, or that the leaves are turning to gorgeous shades of oranges or reds, or even that we had a frost advisory last week. No, I mean that I have finally donned my autumn outfit de rigueur - black yoga pants and a long-sleeve white shirt.

I know it doesn’t sound very original or exciting. In fact, it sounds like an outfit to serve food in, but I somehow feel simple and classy in these clothes - although they are without a bit of color. (Don’t think I don’t hear Stacy and Quentin’s voice in my head saying, You think it’s classy? Wrong. It’s boring. You aren’t waiting tables here, lady. You’re taking your kid to preschool and the park! Let’s ACT like we have some class and buy an outfit that you can’t exercise in- maybe one that has some structure for that bottom half of yours.)

In my humble defense, these aren’t just any old yoga pants. They are the supreme yoga pants of all time – the Athleta All That Capri Pant. Lest I get carried away in hyperbole, take a look for yourself.

And since I’m not sure that the picture is clear, I will add that these pants are not gauchos. You know, gauchos - those ubiquitous pants worn by every single woman under the age of 25 right now. Gauchos - the pants that make even the thinnest women look like their behind is made from cottage cheese and their thighs are thunderous.

Oh no, these yoga pants are the boon companion of the slightly pear-shaped mama. They are forgiving of a little extra junk in the trunk and flow nicely over legs that have never been the same since pregnancy and childbirth.

I have three pair – all in black. I would buy another, but SRH might throw me out of the house. I have considered buying them in other colors, but I can’t seem to make myself do it. There’s that saying about not fixing something that isn’t broken.


Joyful, joyful, I adore thee,
Oh, sweet fitting yoga pants;
Drawstring waist and material flow-y,

Hail Thee as my favorite pair.
Melt the clouds of sloth and big legs,
Drive the extra pounds away;
Giver of immortal svelteness,
Wearing you lights up my day!

Okay, I think this post may have just crossed a line here – even for a blog.

Any of your clothes make you want to burst into inappropriate song?


lsig said...

No, sweetie. But we'll find you a support group if you need one.

Zany Mama said...

I thought you were my support group! Next you'll be telling me that I need to go see a therapist, and we all know how I feel about THOSE people!

lsig said...


I actually once wrote a poem about my favorite pair of boots, so you should take any and all teasing with multiple grains of salt.

Mom said...

What were you drinking when you wrote the song?

Weird Al you ain't.

kimmyk said...

I didn't know you had a blog.

How cool is this.

If I can't fit my butt into a pair of jeans and not feel my air being cut off-shoot...I'm singing songs all day long. Pants that are a size smaller-well that will not only have me singing but dancing a jig too.

Zany Mama said...

Were they go-go boots? Because if they were, I have the perfect Wham! song that might fit.

You know that comment isn't very nice, right? Let's don't play out our mother/daughter dance of anger here for everyone to see.

kimmy k-
I do, indeed, have a blog. How cool that is - well, I'll leave that up to you. I'm sure on the cool-o-meter I score quite low, but thanks for the vote of confidence.

Nice to see you!

Anonymous said...

Love the yoga pants!!! If I had a creative soul, I would write an ode to my Margaritaville hat that I practically live in on the weekends (another What Not to Wear no-no).

Zany Mama said...

Mel-J -
A margaritaville hat? I'm sure that Clinton and Stacy are despairing of the both of us right now.

Thanks for dropping by!

mrs tiggy-winkle said...

I love it! I am also slightly pear shaped. I have yoga pants in navy, light teal (when I am feeling comfortable) and black.

As for the Margaritaville hat, I think if you gave Clinton and Stacy enough margaritas they, too, would wear a Margaritaville hat and yoga pants!

mom said...

First I get in trouble for being too nice. Then I get in trouble for being mean.

I think we both know who gets the short end of the stick in the mother/daughter battle.

Zany Mama said...

mrs tw-
I am humbled by your willingness to wear light teal on the bottom. You are one brave girl.

I do have to admit that I have spent some mental energy on wondering what happens to Clinton and Stacey when they're buzzed and off camera. Do they EVER wear sweat pants, for example?

Zany Mama said...

Even if I thought you had a point - which I don't - I could not admit it. It's just part of the mother/daughter rule book that neither of us will admit when something is our own fault. Which it isn't and I'm not.