Monday, July 10, 2006

Peeling the Onion

There are things you discover about your partner about 10 years in that make you wonder what else you missed. This happened for me last year, when SRH disclosed that he doesn’t like strawberry ice cream. Really, I don’t mind that he doesn’t like strawberry ice cream – I don’t like it either. The upsetting part is that after 10 years together, I had no clue that he didn’t like strawberry ice cream. This just seems totally bizarre to me.

After all, we have, for the entirety of our married life, lived within two blocks of a Dairy Queen. Part of that was providence – we have moved three times all within the same 2 blocks, and part of it is my insane love for the Peanut Buster Parfait. And while I know that Dairy Queen doesn’t have strawberry ice cream – at least not in soft serve which is all that really matters - you would think that his dislike of strawberry ice cream would have come up at some point in the thousands of ice cream conversations we have had in our marriage.

Anyway, we worked through the whole “I don’t even know you” aspect of this revelation and have proceeded from there. But really, more unsavory revelations were bound to come up at some point. That point was yesterday. And this time the revelation was about me.

We were all sitting at Taco Bell – I know. I know. Not good food, but one of the three restaurants that Zane can eat out at, so there you have it. – when SRH brought the food to our table. (I had gone to get drinks with Zane, so I didn’t hear what SRH ordered).

Then the following conversation occurs:

Me: So, what did you get? Is that a chicken soft taco?

SRH: (Looking at me a little funny). It’s a burrito.

Me: Oh. What do they put in burritos? How is it different from a soft taco?

SRH: Typically, burritos have rice or beans in addition to meat. Then they put the other stuff in it like a taco.

(Here, SRH takes a deep breath, giving himself time to see if I’m just messing with him).

Me: Looks like a soft taco to me. The rice and beans make it a burrito?

And then it hits us both: I have never had a burrito.

No, no, really, I have never had a burrito. I am a 32 year-old woman who worked at a Chi-Chi’s for one summer, and I have never eaten a burrito.

In my defense, I’m not a big fan of Mexican food since I don’t like spicy things and I hate cheese. But even I can understand that NEVER having eaten a burrito is a bit weird. We’ll see if SRH is willing to remain in the marriage shortly. Will let you know.

Also, he could really be feeding me a line of crap here, since I have no idea what goes in a burrito. Can someone please confirm SRH’s version of what is in a burrito?


Anonymous said...

I can confirm...SRH is full of crap! But seriously, he's right about the burrito.


Dustin said...

Ya, he's right about the burrito. However, he did leave out a crucial part of "how to tell a burrito from a soft taco" (which becomes increasingly hard when it's Taco Bell). The big difference is in the folding of the tortilla. Soft tacos are a sort of pocket for the ingredients where on end of the tortillas is left open...for some reason. A burrito on the other hand, is more of a package (or packet if you really want to get under SRH's skin) with all side tucked into one another, thus totally concealing all ingredients.

The fact that your infamiliarity with burritos hadn't come up in 10 yrs. of marriage tells me that the two of you need deep, thurough, expensive marital counseling.

Princess Fannish said...

Big K told me a story from his childhood last week that I'd never heard before. I'm sure you understand how staggered I was.

Anonymous said...

you hate cheese? what kind of red blooded american hates cheese? i can see one not liking a certain type of cheese, but hate? hate is such a strong word.

I can see someone hating stinky toe cheese. but that really isn't a kind of cheese, it's more of a mushroom. but cheese like swiss or cheddar or mountain jack? i had to just misread this.

next you will drop a bomb on me like 'i think prince is sexy and hot'. oh wait, you have already done that to me.

zingerzapper said...

Okay, first of all, don't fool everyone by telling them you hate cheese. You are a selective cheese hater in that you'll eat mozzarella on various things like pizza. I say damn all the cheese, including that on the packeted or packaged burrito! oh and mmmm burritos, you don't know what you're missing.

SRH said...

The odd thing is that she has eaten at Chipotle, and Baja Fresh. Both places specialize in the burrito. How bizarre

Zany Mama said...

IC Yellow-
I suppose that means he's not completely full of crap. Go figure. He's still pretty much, most of the time, almost completly full of crap.

Thanks for the info on burrito wrappage - the rest of these jokers apparently weren't willing to give me the skinny.

Unfortunately, SRH and I did several years of counseling together early in our relationship - individual, couple, and group counseling - and none of it prepared us for this type of burrito crisis.

Princess Fannish-
Don't taunt us, Fannish. Give us the story. I'm sure Big K never reads this blog so you can be honest.

Anon - if that's who you truly are -
I hate cheese. All kinds - well, except for mozzarella on pizza - but that is the ONLY exception. I have had a lifelong hatred of cheese which was only intensified by my witnessing of SRH's college roommate. (5th year, Glen Morris Apartments) That guy had a love of cheese that wouldn't quit - and he liked Paula Abdul. I just can't respect that.

I'd like to kind-of thank you for your sort-of defense of me. While it's true that I will eat cheese on pizza, that is the ONE AND ONLY place I will eat it.

I hear burritos don't come with mozarella cheese much.

Nobody asked you to comment. Get back to your own blog.

Anonymous said...

I understand your hatred of most cheeses. I grew up with a mother that would only eat Cheshire Cheese (a cheese most commonly found in England, not the US). It's good cheese, but it doesn't hold a candle to good old cheddar or montery jack. Through the years she's come around, but still hates most cheeses. Me, on the other hand, wish I hated cheese. It probably would have saved me a few 20 pounds or so over the years. I crave cheese and potato chips (luckily, seperate, not together).

But this "never having a burrito and being 32" I can't understand. WHAT? Chipotle Burritos are a god sent. And you can get them without cheese. You HAVE to try one. I realize SRH has an issue with Chipotle, but you have to go against him and try one. When I left Pittsburgh the only thing I knew I was going to miss was Burritos from a great little place in Downtown, but Chipotle has filled that void!

Tree Monkey - AKA Intrepid Cartographer #2

Zany Mama said...

Tree Monkey -
You really must make SRH treat you with more respect. You should definitely not tolerate and/or perpetuate that name for yourself. Except on this blog, where it's a particularly nice handle.

And while I find it to be my life's delight to go against SRH, I think I may stick with the whole not-going-to-eat-a-burrito thing. It's working for me.

Christina said...

LOL! Well, if those are the only things you don't know about each other, I think you're doing OK. :)

And I love Peanut Buster Parfaits, too. We have a Dairy Queen close by, also, and it's always so tempting.

Zany Mama said...

Yeah, we just might make it through this one - much to SRH's parents' chagrin.

I hear the siren call of the Peanut Buster Parfait most days. It was strongest when I could read the weekly special sign from my living room window, but I still hear it echoing from two streets down and around the corner.