Zane is Five

In the ensuing madness of raising two – ee gads! - children and dipping my toes back into the work pool, I neglected to do a post for Zane’s 5^th birthday. (Actually, I haven’t done a post for anything since getting a shiny new blog design…so much for that as a motivator.)

Anyway, I knew exactly the blog post I wanted to do, and it wasn’t one of those beautifully written love letters to my child. Please see his 3^rd birthday post for my attempt at that. No, I’m still in the land of the chronically sleep-deprived and hormonal, so any attempt to write such a letter ended in my blubbering while I frantically thesaurus-ed synonyms for “overwhelming love”.

It wasn’t pretty friends.

So, how to coherently express my love for the boy, give him a snapshot of “who” he is at 5 years old, and entertain blog readers – all at the same time? Why, a meme of course!

So here it is, Zane…a “Zane is Five” meme inspired by and about you – our wonderful five year old boy.

5 Things You Are Awesome At:
1. Making Train Layouts – Seriously. I can’t keep up anymore. I rarely even try to help with your mathematically precise layouts.

2. Unintentionally Mocking Others – Why is that person walking so funny? (re: someone strutting down the street) Did she smell something bad? (re: a person with a permanent sneer on their face) “Ooooh…lots of colors…” (re: a hideously tasteless shirt)

3. Playing for Stars – Since we put the “good behavior” chart on the wall, you have eaten more broccoli, picked up more toys, and listened harder than any kid on the planet– all with the intent of getting enough stars to earn a root beer. You loves some root beer.

4. Helping with Eily – You get diapers. You push the button on the butterfly to make it play music. You kiss her little feet in an effort to make her smile. You are totally awesome at this big brother thing.

5. Eating – Never has a skinnier kid eaten so much food. It leaves other children envious (where did he put that 10^th chicken finger?!) and adults in awe.

5 Things You Are…Um…Not-So-Awesome At:
1. Putting Your Pants on Straight – Really, kid. Your bottoms are consistently catawampus.

2. Listening – Especially to things you don’t want to hear. Sure, if I mention going to see trains, you’ll hear me 9 times out of 10. Mention going upstairs to bed, not so much.

3. Sitting Still – You are still the wiggliest worm in your preschool class. That’s okay. The other kids are apparently lazy.

4. Letting Others Play with Your Trains – You have a plan. We’d all do best to stick with it.

5. Eating Candy – You have been overheard saying, “I’m not a candy person,” which is a bit ridiculous since you refuse to even try it. So you are not not a candy person, my love. You are a weirdo kid who won’t try candy.

5 Songs You Love:
1. SexyBack – Justin Timberlake

2. Who Can it Be Now? - Men at Work

3. Underdog – Butthole Surfers

4. Be Happy – Wow, Wow, Wubbzy

5. Fancy – Reba McEntire

6. Don’t judge us.

5 Places You’ve Professed a Desire to Visit:
1. Chicago – lots of trains there

2. Phoenix – You had such a good time when we were there in April.

3. Maine – mostly because your Mimma keeps harping on it

4. Nova Scotia – I’ve been there. You want to go, too.

5. The beach – any beach on any coast.

5 Things You Like to Eat:
1. Chicken Fingers – “chickies” still rule your heart

2. Cracklin Oat Bran – looks like dog food, tastes like heaven

3. Orange Rice – nasty stuff that it is

4. Cap’n Crunch with bananas – aka stealer of the first tooth

5. Pumpkin Muffins – that’s it. No story there.

And finally, child, one last thing you should know: you make my heart sing. Every day. With all you do.

Happy Birthday, Zane.